Category Archives: Home

I’m Shit at Minimalism

I read Marie Kondo. I perved at minimalist pinterest pins. I oogled tiny houses. But when all our shit arrived off the boat from Scotland, I was delighted to meet my 14 winter coats again. Now I just have to find the box with boots in it.

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I’m Shit at Looking After Phones


And this is one I LOVE.  You should see how I treated the work-issued ones.

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I’m shit at being classy

I am, however, really good at being white trash:


How does one get their slab of cheap piss home from the offie? Balanced above the head of their only son, of course.

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I’m Shit at Letting Go


This could be a meme about loss or regret. Or a meaningful post about life and moving on, or imperfection and making do. But it’s really just a worn through muslin that thanks to some BONKERS reflex action keeps getting pegged back on the line.  Like it’s made of fucking gold or something.

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I’m Shit at Gardening

Hopes, verdant dreams and potting mix:


3 weeks later and what have my kids learnt? That EVERYTHING DIES. ALL THAT YOU LOVE WILL PERISH. And death is brown and withering and ugly.

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